deviant art

Deviant Login Shop
 Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
Download File
HTML, 1.3 KB
more ▶

More from ~blacksexycat

Featured in Groups:

Details

July 28, 2012
1.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 180
Favourites: 24 [who?]

Views: 167 (0 today)
Downloads: 3 (0 today)

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 License.
[x]


Do you see me for me
Or what you wanted me to be
What happened to that love
That we held so dear
Why couldn't you hear
Me screaming out for you
Was it all just a game
and I your favorite piece
Throwing me away when you got bored of me
But I'm not letting you bring me down no more
(Refrain)
Say goodbye,
Say goodbye,
To what you knew of me
Say goodbye,
Say goodbye,
No more pushing me
I'm not going to let you take my joy
You had this death grip of what you called love
and I don't, know why I didn't see it before
Was I blinded by love or
Just to scared to see the truth
(refrain)
But you're the last mistake I'll ever make
I'm a brand new me, the way I wanted to be
This is who I am
This is who I am
You should be happy
You helped me
Realizing what we ha was a shit dream
A fairy tale it may seem
Keeping me around your finger with those sugar coated lies
But I've broken free
So let me tell you one more time
Say goodbye
Say goodbye
To what you thought of me
Say goodbye
Say goodbye
I'm better without you
:iconblacksexycat:
THis is my 2nd song I've wrote so be easy on me I'm hoping to get better as I go along. I would like some feed back on what you think but no"This is crappy you should stop"feed back I don't need that okay? okay.
Hope ya'll like it and I hope one day to sell these
Add a Comment:
 
love 2 2 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconnotensmsk:
~NotenSMSK Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hmmm... so this is a song? Have yoy got any tune for it or something? If es, then keep on working on it! I personally liked the theme. It is not very unique perhaps but then again not every work has to be completely unique. It expresses a lot of emotions and ideas and reminds me of "I will survive" by Donna Summer. There is a mistake:

"...Realizing what we ha was a shit dream...."

Here it should be had instread of had. There are a few expressions I really like, others are also good. So over all a good work :nod:
Reply
:iconblacksexycat:
thanks. like I said this is only my second and no I haven't yet compleatly
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
~NotenSMSK Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconblacksexycat:
^-^
Reply
:iconrocknrollchick91:
~rocknrollchick91 Aug 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
very strong lyrics, I can honestly feel myself in your situation when reading the poem.. the repeat of the phrase "say goodbye" makes it clear to the reader that you have changed and finished trying, a new person, a different individual, a stronger human, these love songs always get me, lol, but as far as negative criticism i cant help you, i think its good just the way it is..great job!
:star: :star: :star: :star: :star:
Reply
:iconblacksexycat:
ah t-thanks I'm just starting so it's not so good. thanks for the fave on it
Reply
:iconrocknrollchick91:
~rocknrollchick91 Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
well its very good for a beginner in my book :) welcome!
Reply
:iconblacksexycat:
oh ah t-thanks
Reply
:icongaytacos:
Mood: Love ~GaYtAcOs Aug 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
fuckin love it!!
Reply
:iconblacksexycat:
hehe thanks
Reply
Add a Comment: